Favorite jokes of the Southland #69
— Y’know, Maw, hit sholy pains me to think of our little Lena Lula… A’layin’ over yonder’n that cold graveyard night adder night adder night!
— A’ yeah, pain. Hit’s sholy a painful thought!
— Yes, Lord! Ol’ tombstone above her head! Painful… Painful… Why – sometime I even catch m’self a’wishin’ she wuz dead!
Favorite jokes of the Southland #41476
— Ho Lawd – ‘an I ain’t doin’ but fif’teen!
— While you ol’ boys git that garbage picked up, I’ll write ‘cha out a ticket for litterin’! Now git that shit covered ‘fore yawl pull out of here or I’ll take ya in!
— Now ain’t people wasteful! Somebody done threw away a perfectly good nigger!
Favorite jokes of the Southland #1
— Audrey, cin I look up yo’ dress?
— Why – I reck’ Rastus!
— Lawd! Lawd! Hit’s a wonder to behold!!
— Audrey, cin I look up yo dress agin?
— Sho’
— Yes Lawd! Hit’s sholy ah wonder.
— Audrey, cin I peek up under you dress jus’ one mo’ time?
— Well, I ‘speck so.
— Yeowsur! Yeowsur! Yeowsur! Hit’s ah sho’ nuff wonder! I can’t fugger it out.
— Whut y’all mean, Rastus? Whut’s ah wonder?
— Hit’s ah wonder that yo guts don’t slide out!
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Alors le sud des États-Unis, on y va ou on n’y va pas ? Ben oui, on y va !
Et on rencontre des gens.
On prend aussi des photos du paysage des graffitis dans les toilettes :
Que dire de plus, sinon « Put the South in your Mouth » ?
Sports Column by Red Ruffansore.
Montreal, Canada — Yours truly has never understood why sports reporters are dispatched to cover the Olympic so-called games. What we have goin’ on here is the usual slow-motion, nonviolent version of World War III. No one here is indulging in what you and I, gentle reader, would call a sport. At best, they perform exercices which might be considered warm-ups for sports… or suitable events for half time entertainment. Buncha Goddamn acrobats and ballet dancers, is all.
No football. No baseball. And so, naturally, the poor old U.S. of A. comes out looking bad in the standings, having very few able-bodied youngsters whose idea of an afternoon’s athletics is jumping around in a bathing suit waving a ribbon in time to a scratchy Shostakovich record.
Water, which has never struck old Red as much of a drink, also fails to impress as a playing field. Take my word for it, watching a swimming race live is even more boring than watching it on television.
Naturally, the holier-than-thou squeaky-clean cyptosocialist Olympic committee rejected the recommendation from this corner and others more august to install parimutual machines at all track events and post the odds, to add a little interest to the spectacle of a bunch of people trying to do what horses and machines were invented to do better, viz, run.
If there’s no way to get sports back into the Olympics — and by sports I mean teams, a ball, physical contact, and some real money changing hands — this man’s country had better leave ‘em alone in the future. All we get now is a black eye in the propaganda department and a collective national Charley horse.
And by the way, Montreal was a great choice of sites for the summer games. Where they gonna hold the winter games? Jamaica?
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Eva Peron (1919-52)
After Eva… While Argentina officially mourned First Lady Eva Perón -dead of cancer at 33- the future of Pres. Juan Perón looked gloomy. The Army, whose support had waned as the Peróns catered to labor, was set to force an end to Perón’s welfare state. They based their plans on Peron’s loss of his eloquent spokesman, Eva; Argentine bankruptcy from too many public expenditures, too little trade.
Lost in Translation
Delegates at the U.N. Economic and Social Council gasped when Soviet envoy Georgi Arkadiev quoted a U.S. newspaper to the effect that striking American workers were being told to get back to their jobs or be shot. Arkadiev, they later learned, had mistranslated the word « fired. »
